LIFE = ch-ch-ch-changes.....

..........i figured, since so much is changing and reforming and fluxuating in my life right now, that i might start another one of these Blog things.......i had one for a little bit somewhere else, but this place seems cool, so....yeah.

((song that just played: Violent Femmes "Sweet Worlds of Angels"))

let's see, what has gone down this year..........

well, the biggest blow this year by very very far is the passing of my Dad on Nov.8th. that just goes without saying, but i said it anyway. i know it's only been a little bit over a month since it happened, but i feel weird, like i should be freaking out and screaming and crying and all that, but right now it just feels (no, i KNOW it) like i'm trying to not think about it. i feel rather guilty that i'm not approaching it, like i'm trying to forget my Dad, pretend he was never there or at least at never passed away. i think we're all in a huge state of shock, and one day soon it's all going to burst and the real healing and learning will begin. as it is right now it's like we're in a kind of limbo - stuck between our emotions we had while taking care of him over the course of his illness and our eventual acceptance of what has happened.

another major crevice dug into my brain and heart this year is learning that my best friend Jared will be moving soon out of California, up north to Seattle. he's leaving for a legit reason, of course (his young son & family moved up there a bit ago), but it's still hard for me. Jared has been a huge part of my life for a really long time (he's known as my Mom's "3rd Son" amongst my family), and i hate losing people, but i completely understand and respect his want to be a part of his son's life, even if it means leaving a ton of thing here to do so. i can go on and on about how i feel about this subject, but let's just boil it down to the fact that i will not be seeing my best friend as often as i do now (often? heheh....). again, i can go on and on........

i also found out this year that i have a ton of health problems (even though i'm only 31 on Jan.5th 08), alot of which concern my vocal chords and throat. there's some fun sinus stuff thrown in there just for that extra kick, and i've even found out that i have "severe" sleep apnea. i've been seeing a million different doctors for a million different reasons lately, it's been odd. so, yeah - that's not good and i will most likely be having surgery to correct a few issues sometime soon. ooooh, i really don't want to go through that, but i want to be healthy and in tip top shape. or at least my version of that.

a majorly MAJOR "up" point from this year is the amount of live performances i've been a part of, both with the singer/songwriter stuff i do and the experimental type stuff. i've played a show with the sing/song band the drone., which was awesome. and my noise projects i'm part of darph/nadeR and Shrew Florist have been playing a ton of shows this year - more than i have ever played in one month (in that genre). it's been a blast, i can tell you that, and has really helped me clear my body of a good number of lingering demons, the "other" things going down this year. and hey! i even got to do my first official E Yard live set (my solo noise project)!

((song that just played: Morrissey "November Spawned a Monster"))

this all means that i've been hanging out a lot more with my really great pal Gerry. we've been playing shows with both the drone. and Shrew Florist, as well as doing other things together, and it's ben rad! i've always thought we didn't hang out enough. plus his wife Laurel is also a great friend, and it's been awesome to hang out with her a lot more, as well. it just feels good to have good people with you. great friends, an awesome family, creating music that is almost meaningful, and a collection of beautiful felines.

maybe i'll get to that silly 'ol happiness thing someday, afterall...........

take care of yourselves,

-cory